We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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