just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
