There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
