fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize