I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
