They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize