I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
