The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize