Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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