dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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