He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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