I'm jealous of your bromance
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
