True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
