i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
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