I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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