yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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