i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize