apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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