Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
