hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
