every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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