Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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