Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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