I accidentally had phone sex last night
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
