Already got asked if we're dating
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
