oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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