Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
