we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
