Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.