Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
