If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
