Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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