my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
one two three fourrrrnication!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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