when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm bleeding and have questions
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
