you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
