he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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