you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
