If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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