I just made out with a guy for $7.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
