Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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