Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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