How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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