whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
