using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
