headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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