Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
