Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
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They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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