going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
