Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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