is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
