what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
