Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
