we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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