who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Life is so much better after having sex.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
