pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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