I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
