I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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