it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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