white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
