This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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